I have worked extensively with troubled adolescents. I am also a parent myself, so I know how challenging it can be. It truly does take a village to raise a child. We should not be struggling alone.
I worked for Outward Bound (an outdoor leadership school) for a number of years. I love working with teens. One of the things I’ve come to understand is that teens want to be respected. And they want to be respected as autonomous individuals. During the transition into adulthood, the benefit of increasing freedom grows in direct relation to increasing responsibility. One of the best ways to get a teen involved is not to tell them what to do, but rather, that “you are needed.”
As parents, sometimes we need to learn how to be less involved in our children’s life. Part of growing up is to differentiate from our parents. At other times we need to learn how to become more involved with our children. They still need our support, but want to be in charge of when and how it is given. Each person’s needs are continually evolving. So, knowing how to be involved with our children is a constantly moving target.
Opinions vary on how to parent. I strive to respect personal and cultural parenting differences. Furthermore, our culture continues to change at a rapid pace, and alternative family structures are becoming more of the norm than the exception. I have a particular expertise in working with single, divorced and co-parenting situations.
As social beings, we all strive to feel loved and accepted. We look for this first in our family and then within society. Ultimately, we hope to provide unconditional love and support to ourselves.
“When we feel encouraged, we feel capable and appreciated and will generally act in a connected and cooperative way. When we are discouraged, we may act in unhealthy ways by competing, withdrawing, or giving up. It is in finding ways of expressing and accepting encouragement, respect, and social interest that help us feel fulfilled and optimistic.” ~ Alfred Adler